Bowser

Alright, so youre into princess kidnapping. Its not really our thing, but hey - we dont exactly love it when people judge our Real Housewives addiction or our crippling decoupage hobby, either, so.

Live and let live, brother! But also, it should be said that if you want to continue to attempt to kidnap Princess Peach (technically, though, shes not a child, so the correct term is abduction), youre gonna have to get better at it.

Youve been attempting this abduction since 1985, and we gotta tell you - its like you cant even learn from your own mistakes. Those Italian plumbers thwart you every time, just by using the same exact moves!

So lets get wise to the game, broand the first step is upgrading your general appearance with this Adult Bowser Headpiece. When you look good, you feel good, and when you feel good, you do good!

("Good" being, y'know, successfully abducting and hiding away an autonomous creature, which is maybe different from the general public's definition of "good", but let's just save that moral argument for another time, kay?)

Look, normally, we wouldnt condone Princess kidnapping. Its not cool, and the laws of our country dont look kindly upon it.

But also, it should be said that you live in a world entirely of your own, where our laws and morals dont apply! And so if you want to continue to attempt to kidnap Princess Peach (technically, though, shes not a child, so the correct term is abduction), you do you, boo!

We also use the word attempt because youve tried it at least ten times and have been thwarted by those Italian plumbers every time, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Besides, youre getting really good at getting her out of the castle before Mario comes to save the day, so whos to say that you cant accomplish the desires of your heart?

Well, probably Mario does, and were pretty sure Princess Peach would like to argue that the desires of your heart directly conflict with hers, but still - with this Adult Bowser Kit, you've got more than a fighting chance!

Lizard King Man, does it suck when you get beat up by someone smaller than you. It is so embarrassing to have to go to your parents and tell them that someone less than one-quarter of your size picked you up by the leg and threw you into lava.

Again. No to mention the shame that they keep doing it in front of your girlfriend.

Then they pick on your kids! Then they come into your castle by plumbing through the pipes like madmen and steal all your golden stars that you were storing away to send your kids to college Sometimes it just feels like the world is against you.

Sometimes, the only thing you can do is cover your teary face with a mask and get on with your day. Its a Real Plumber If you admire Bowser for his courage and restraint in the face of unrelenting assaults by the brothers Mario, then you will love this Adult Bowser Mask.

It has all the details of his awesome look, without any of the stress of managing kids, a castle, or invading plumbers. You can just enjoy the bright colors and comfort of this strap-on mask and collect your stars in peace!

Why do kids always want to dress up as Mario or Peach? If you ask us, the most fun Super Mario Bros character to dress as is definitely Bowser, and he's not so scary once you get to know him!

Your little one can dress up as his favorite video game baddie in this official Bowser Deluxe Costume, and look mean and green (and yellow) this Halloween! Don't get us wrong, we know Bowser is one bad koopa.

Whether he's capturing princesses, or stealing gold coins, or just bumping other racers off the track during a Mario Kart race, we're always glad Mario and Luigi are out there to put a stop to his shenanigans. But, Bowser is just so good at being a bad guy, we can't help but love him!

What other video game villain out there has his own fleet of flying pirate ships? And how did a huge, spiky, turtle-dragon get his claws on so many castles?

And you have to admit, he's a monster on the Mario Kart track! With this koopa-cool costume, your little one can be a monster while trick or treating, too, but the fun and mischievous kind of monster!

This jumpsuit, molded plastic face mask, and inflatable koopa shell accessory are officially licensed, so your kid knows he'll look just like the real Bowser. Just make sure you keep an eye on where he hides his candy, or it might end up in another castle, and then you'll never find it!

Why do kids always want to dress up as Mario or Peach? If you ask us, the most fun Super Mario Bros character to dress as is definitely Bowser, and he's not so scary once you get to know him!

Your little one can dress up as his favorite video game baddie in this official Bowser Deluxe Costume, and look mean and green (and yellow) this Halloween! Don't get us wrong, we know Bowser is one bad koopa.

Whether he's capturing princesses, or stealing gold coins, or just bumping other racers off the track during a Mario Kart race, we're always glad Mario and Luigi are out there to put a stop to his shenanigans. But, Bowser is just so good at being a bad guy, we can't help but love him!

What other video game villain out there has his own fleet of flying pirate ships? And how did a huge, spiky, turtle-dragon get his claws on so many castles?

And you have to admit, he's a monster on the Mario Kart track! With this koopa-cool costume, your little one can be a monster while trick or treating, too, but the fun and mischievous kind of monster!

This jumpsuit, molded plastic face mask, and inflatable koopa shell accessory are officially licensed, so your kid knows he'll look just like the real Bowser. Just make sure you keep an eye on where he hides his candy, or it might end up in another castle, and then you'll never find it!

Why do kids always want to dress up as Mario or Peach? If you ask us, the most fun Super Mario Bros character to dress as is definitely Bowser, and he's not so scary once you get to know him!

Your little one can dress up as his favorite video game baddie in this official Bowser Deluxe Costume, and look mean and green (and yellow) this Halloween! Don't get us wrong, we know Bowser is one bad koopa.

Whether he's capturing princesses, or stealing gold coins, or just bumping other racers off the track during a Mario Kart race, we're always glad Mario and Luigi are out there to put a stop to his shenanigans. But, Bowser is just so good at being a bad guy, we can't help but love him!

What other video game villain out there has his own fleet of flying pirate ships? And how did a huge, spiky, turtle-dragon get his claws on so many castles?

And you have to admit, he's a monster on the Mario Kart track! With this koopa-cool costume, your little one can be a monster while trick or treating, too, but the fun and mischievous kind of monster!

This jumpsuit, molded plastic face mask, and inflatable koopa shell accessory are officially licensed, so your kid knows he'll look just like the real Bowser. Just make sure you keep an eye on where he hides his candy, or it might end up in another castle, and then you'll never find it!